Somebody actually updated a fic of theirs so it's a good time for an entry. I know no one cares but I do and apparently so does someone else besides me and Fred. So, yay for that!!!!!!
It was a Harper fic but that's better than nothing. At least those who are still following it are getting something. The author cares about those she left hanging. That's a great thing and it's why I'm excited, even though it bumped my finished fic off the top at Ex Isle. hehehehehehehe
I'm not under the illusion that this is a sign of hope for me that fics that were started especially for me will ever be finished, much less updated. I realize that none of the authors give a shit anymore. But since I still do I wanted to give credit where credit is due. Because acknoledging that you have a responsibility to your readers and making an effort to fufill that is lauable and should be celebrated. So, kudos to her. I am so very happy for the fans of her story that she cares and will do her best to bring closure. It might take another three years or longer but hopefully the fic will eventually be finished. Yes, she said it was three years since the last update. Good for her.
I am happy for her and her readers even as my heart breaks that I'll never get that. Not one of the people who ever started something for me cares to finish their stories. I know they intended to finish when they started but they didn't. That they failed is what matters, not their intentions. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, after all.
Fred is an exception. He actually told me that he tried on more than one occasion to write but only got blanks. At least he tried. Proving how much I have changed since the big fic blow up when I jumped on someone for a ficlet, instead of doing an update, I suggested he do a ficlet. It might help his block. I even offered to give him prompts. He said maybe but I didn't hear back form him. Guess he declined. Well, he might be somewhat scared of me with regards to this subject so there's that. I still love him.
I think there might have been a story or two that was only one more part away from being completed. How sad is that? How hard would it be to just get that last part down and then they'd be done. I'd be happy and they could be proud that they had finsihed what they started. But I guess that was too much to ask.
It's Veterans Day in the U.S.A. Ooooh! That ryhmed. But anyway, thank you vets. This is the day we honor the ones still alive.
In other news, I finally finished 'How Could He?' It's posted on Ex Isle, if anyone cares to look. I know, I know. No one but Fred really cares anymore. I just keep hoping, though. And sometimes I still get a review from someone besides Fred. Rare, but it happens and when it does I get happy.
This is not to say I don't love and appreicate that Fred still reads and reviews; I do. But anyway, that's all for now. Later.
I hope I spelled that right. Apparently you can't spell check subject titles. Damn! Oh, well.
It's the last day of August and I miss summer already. Why does it ever have to end? Well, at least it will come back. Just not soon enough for me. Oh, well.
I'm also feeling sad about the state of Beka fandom. Some new Andromeda stories got posted at fanfiction.net but they weren't Beka centric. Just as well, I suppose, since they probably wouldn't get finished if they were. Heavy sigh, as Mork would say.
I started looking through the archives but didn't get far before sadness overcame me. Is it really that hard to finish waht you start? Guess so.
I posted something at Ex Isle but no comments. Fred will, as soon as I let him know about it and that still means the world to me. But when you used to get more than one comment on each update it's hard to be satisfied with one. Even if that one is from your beloved hubby.
I think I'll have to write the ending to 'How Could He?' soon. Even though nobody but Fred really cares anymore, I still do and it would be great to say I finished a fic. Plus I did get a review that wasn't Fred so if that person still cares she and Fred deserve the conclusion.
I only wish everyone who had started stories for me and never finished them felt that I deserved the conclusion. But they obviously don't so what can I do? I don't have the power to chain anyone to their computer til they finish. But if I did....hehehehehehehehe
In the house. Back in the beginning of Febuary, our furnace let go during the night and we had an inch or two all over the house. Stuff failed, except the emergency thingie. If it had, I guess it would have blown up and our house and us would be gone. So things could be worse and I'm happy they weren't.
Still hard though. Fred and I aren't good cleaners. O.K. We're slobs and hoarders and though his sister is helping us, it's slow going because the house is messy and unorganized. We also lost some books. Not a lot and we can replace them at book sales, which is where we got them in the first place. Still sad.
Wonder if this is God's way of forcing us to clean. I mean, I'd love to be rich and get a mansion but maybe God is saying, why should you get one if you can't keep a regular house clean? So, we're trying. It ain't easy.
Cleaning will never be a priority with me because I take after my grandmother, who also kept a messy house. Drove my dad nuts. But there are more important things than cleaning.
Still we don't have to be as messy and disorganized as we are. So, we're trying. Progress is slow but we have made some.
Siome of the ruined carpet is up. More needs to come up but it will. In any case, it is what it is.
I know I'm late. I just didn't want it to be thought that I had forgotten. I'll never forget. It's just that there isn't a lot of activity in the Andromeda fandom these days. This depresses me. Couldn't someone, anyone update something? Obviously not. Sight. Well, at least it's marked.
I posted my Christmas lament on Facebook and the response I got was less than favorable. Basically, the consensus is I'm being too hard on Fred. Which is probably true. I mean, I tried not to be too savage and I feel how I feel but when you put stuff out there, people are free to disagree. And they will.
Well, I got some sympathy but mostly not. I did apologize for hurting his feelings but I wouldn't blame anyone who doubts my sincereity. I mean, I'm still a bitch.
Anyway, where do we go from here? I still feel frustrated that he still can't enjoy Christmas. I realize his mother died one Christmas but that was back in the nineties. Can't he get over it already? My dad died on New Years Day in the early 2000s and I still enjoy New Years. But I guess that's me. Everybody's different and I have that bitch thing going on that I have previously mentioned. He's nicer and more sensitive and stuff.
Well, anyway, that's about it. I still yearn for an update. If he's going to be like everyone else and not finish his stories, he should tell me. But he should finish them. He's got to. It's the least he can do.
All I wanted for Christmas was for Fred to update a fanfic he was writing for me. He didn't. I'm so incredibly disapointed. I had my heart set on this. I should have known better. Nobody's ever finished any long fic written especially for me.
I did think he was different, though. I mean, he has updated in the past. Sometimes, under duress. All right, a lot of times. But he understood how I felt about this. While he didn't condone the way I acted over abandoned fic, he understood my feelings over it. He even agreed I had a good point.
So, what does he do? He goes on to disapoint me. I still love him and I'm not going to savage him over this but I am hurt and angry.
Of course, I'm sure making an entry about it is mean according to some opinions. Maybe it is. But this is my journal and it's how I feel.
I had gone to all the trouble of gathering all the parts written so far and I put them in chronological order and e-mailed the file to him. This way, he'd have the parts in a linear manner to maybe jump start him again. I'd even asked if it had helped. He said it did.
So why no update? At least I knew a few days before. He was on the computer working on something and I hopefully asked if it was my update. He said no and that I wasn't getting one. He was sorry. I beleive he was but I'm still sad.
At least I knew before hand. I didn't wake up on Christmas morning and run to the computer to check my inbox. So this Christmas is a bust. There's always next year but probably not. Geez, I wanted something that cost no money and I still couldn't get it. Lovely.
Writing wise, at least. I'm not stopping with original fiction or my other fandoms but I did recently add more to a Beka fic that I was stalled on. I'm glad because she still desrves stories written about her and I still want to do it.
Obviously, I still wish it was more than just me, although I did get my shit together and sent Fred the parts of a fic he had started for me in the proper order. So hopefully that will jump start him and I'll get an update for Christmas. It's all I really want. He did say having them helped him so here's to hoping a fic update will come.
I still wish others would update. I know they won't. Wish I had more reviewers for my fics. Love that Fred will review but miss the amount I used to get. Ah, well.
Even with the angst, I'm glad I haven't left the fandom. It still means something to me and it always will. Anyway, that's all for now.
I finished my one shot and posted it. Fred reviewed it. He said it made sense to him without having seen the episode in question, which made me feel great. I also got a review from someone else who also liked it.
I have also started one of the longer fics I said I had ideas for. We'll see how that goes. Again, it's Chris centirc so most people won't like it. I like it, though.
Most people want Lilly/Scotty shipping. I have nothing against the pairing, althogh it isn't mine. Maybe I should write a story where Christina and Scotty get back together and really piss people off lol
I also posted a one shot 'Charlie's Angels' fic. I have an idea for a longer fic but it's based on an episode and I'm not sure it could work. I recently saw that episode again and I'm just not sure. Of course my idea would be AU so....maybe.
I also cried over Beka fic again, for the first time in awhile. I'm trying not to do that so much anymore because it doesn't change things. For the most part, I'm doing well. I had missed crying over it but there's really nothing I can do. I can't make people write me fic or even finish what they started for me.
Isn't it better for me to try to be positive and focus on my other fandoms, where there is at least some activity? More than 'Andromeda' , at least.