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17th February 2017
Missed posting on it this year. But now I am. And I've forgiven Fred or not updating. I still wish he would but you know. I do still wish someone would. Oh, well.
19th December 2016
If Fandoms Weren't All Alike
Well, they aren't, not really. Except for one thing. No matter which fandom I get into there are always unfinished stories. It sucks. :
And Fred isn't updating again this year. He didn't say that when I asked him but his silence told the story. I'd love to be wrong but I won't be.
Merry fucking Christmas to me.
1st March 2016
The State Of Andromeda Fandom
Somebody actually updated a fic of theirs so it's a good time for an entry. I know no one cares but I do and apparently so does someone else besides me and Fred. So, yay for that!!!!!! :
It was a Harper fic but that's better than nothing. At least those who are still following it are getting something. The author cares about those she left hanging. That's a great thing and it's why I'm excited, even though it bumped my finished fic off the top at Ex Isle. hehehehehehehe
I'm not under the illusion that this is a sign of hope for me that fics that were started especially for me will ever be finished, much less updated. I realize that none of the authors give a shit anymore. But since I still do I wanted to give credit where credit is due. Because acknoledging that you have a responsibility to your readers and making an effort to fufill that is lauable and should be celebrated. So, kudos to her. I am so very happy for the fans of her story that she cares and will do her best to bring closure. It might take another three years or longer but hopefully the fic will eventually be finished. Yes, she said it was three years since the last update. Good for her.
I am happy for her and her readers even as my heart breaks that I'll never get that. Not one of the people who ever started something for me cares to finish their stories. I know they intended to finish when they started but they didn't. That they failed is what matters, not their intentions. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, after all.
Fred is an exception. He actually told me that he tried on more than one occasion to write but only got blanks. At least he tried. Proving how much I have changed since the big fic blow up when I jumped on someone for a ficlet, instead of doing an update, I suggested he do a ficlet. It might help his block. I even offered to give him prompts. He said maybe but I didn't hear back form him. Guess he declined. Well, he might be somewhat scared of me with regards to this subject so there's that. I still love him.
I think there might have been a story or two that was only one more part away from being completed. How sad is that? How hard would it be to just get that last part down and then they'd be done. I'd be happy and they could be proud that they had finsihed what they started. But I guess that was too much to ask.
14th February 2016
Happy Beka Day. Because it still matters.
11th November 2015
Veterans, Fic, Stuff
It's Veterans Day in the U.S.A. Ooooh! That ryhmed. But anyway, thank you vets. This is the day we honor the ones still alive. :
In other news, I finally finished 'How Could He?' It's posted on Ex Isle, if anyone cares to look. I know, I know. No one but Fred really cares anymore. I just keep hoping, though. And sometimes I still get a review from someone besides Fred. Rare, but it happens and when it does I get happy.
This is not to say I don't love and appreicate that Fred still reads and reviews; I do. But anyway, that's all for now. Later.
31st August 2015
I hope I spelled that right. Apparently you can't spell check subject titles. Damn! Oh, well. :
It's the last day of August and I miss summer already. Why does it ever have to end? Well, at least it will come back. Just not soon enough for me. Oh, well.
I'm also feeling sad about the state of Beka fandom. Some new Andromeda stories got posted at fanfiction.net but they weren't Beka centric. Just as well, I suppose, since they probably wouldn't get finished if they were. Heavy sigh, as Mork would say.
I started looking through the archives but didn't get far before sadness overcame me. Is it really that hard to finish waht you start? Guess so.
I posted something at Ex Isle but no comments. Fred will, as soon as I let him know about it and that still means the world to me. But when you used to get more than one comment on each update it's hard to be satisfied with one. Even if that one is from your beloved hubby.
I think I'll have to write the ending to 'How Could He?' soon. Even though nobody but Fred really cares anymore, I still do and it would be great to say I finished a fic. Plus I did get a review that wasn't Fred so if that person still cares she and Fred deserve the conclusion.
I only wish everyone who had started stories for me and never finished them felt that I deserved the conclusion. But they obviously don't so what can I do? I don't have the power to chain anyone to their computer til they finish. But if I did....hehehehehehehehe
Well, that's all for now.
9th April 2015
In the house. Back in the beginning of Febuary, our furnace let go during the night and we had an inch or two all over the house. Stuff failed, except the emergency thingie. If it had, I guess it would have blown up and our house and us would be gone. So things could be worse and I'm happy they weren't. :
Still hard though. Fred and I aren't good cleaners. O.K. We're slobs and hoarders and though his sister is helping us, it's slow going because the house is messy and unorganized. We also lost some books. Not a lot and we can replace them at book sales, which is where we got them in the first place. Still sad.
Wonder if this is God's way of forcing us to clean. I mean, I'd love to be rich and get a mansion but maybe God is saying, why should you get one if you can't keep a regular house clean? So, we're trying. It ain't easy.
Cleaning will never be a priority with me because I take after my grandmother, who also kept a messy house. Drove my dad nuts. But there are more important things than cleaning.
Still we don't have to be as messy and disorganized as we are. So, we're trying. Progress is slow but we have made some.
Siome of the ruined carpet is up. More needs to come up but it will. In any case, it is what it is.
19th February 2015
I know I'm late. I just didn't want it to be thought that I had forgotten. I'll never forget. It's just that there isn't a lot of activity in the Andromeda fandom these days. This depresses me. Couldn't someone, anyone update something? Obviously not. Sight. Well, at least it's marked. :
Till next time.
27th December 2014
I posted my Christmas lament on Facebook and the response I got was less than favorable. Basically, the consensus is I'm being too hard on Fred. Which is probably true. I mean, I tried not to be too savage and I feel how I feel but when you put stuff out there, people are free to disagree. And they will. :
Well, I got some sympathy but mostly not. I did apologize for hurting his feelings but I wouldn't blame anyone who doubts my sincereity. I mean, I'm still a bitch.
Anyway, where do we go from here? I still feel frustrated that he still can't enjoy Christmas. I realize his mother died one Christmas but that was back in the nineties. Can't he get over it already? My dad died on New Years Day in the early 2000s and I still enjoy New Years. But I guess that's me. Everybody's different and I have that bitch thing going on that I have previously mentioned. He's nicer and more sensitive and stuff.
Well, anyway, that's about it. I still yearn for an update. If he's going to be like everyone else and not finish his stories, he should tell me. But he should finish them. He's got to. It's the least he can do.
26th December 2014
Christmas Was A Bust
All I wanted for Christmas was for Fred to update a fanfic he was writing for me. He didn't. I'm so incredibly disapointed. I had my heart set on this. I should have known better. Nobody's ever finished any long fic written especially for me. :
I did think he was different, though. I mean, he has updated in the past. Sometimes, under duress. All right, a lot of times. But he understood how I felt about this. While he didn't condone the way I acted over abandoned fic, he understood my feelings over it. He even agreed I had a good point.
So, what does he do? He goes on to disapoint me. I still love him and I'm not going to savage him over this but I am hurt and angry.
Of course, I'm sure making an entry about it is mean according to some opinions. Maybe it is. But this is my journal and it's how I feel.
I had gone to all the trouble of gathering all the parts written so far and I put them in chronological order and e-mailed the file to him. This way, he'd have the parts in a linear manner to maybe jump start him again. I'd even asked if it had helped. He said it did.
So why no update? At least I knew a few days before. He was on the computer working on something and I hopefully asked if it was my update. He said no and that I wasn't getting one. He was sorry. I beleive he was but I'm still sad.
At least I knew before hand. I didn't wake up on Christmas morning and run to the computer to check my inbox. So this Christmas is a bust. There's always next year but probably not. Geez, I wanted something that cost no money and I still couldn't get it. Lovely.
11th December 2014
Back With Beka
Writing wise, at least. I'm not stopping with original fiction or my other fandoms but I did recently add more to a Beka fic that I was stalled on. I'm glad because she still desrves stories written about her and I still want to do it. :
Obviously, I still wish it was more than just me, although I did get my shit together and sent Fred the parts of a fic he had started for me in the proper order. So hopefully that will jump start him and I'll get an update for Christmas. It's all I really want. He did say having them helped him so here's to hoping a fic update will come.
I still wish others would update. I know they won't. Wish I had more reviewers for my fics. Love that Fred will review but miss the amount I used to get. Ah, well.
Even with the angst, I'm glad I haven't left the fandom. It still means something to me and it always will. Anyway, that's all for now.
13th November 2014
Cold Case Fiction Progress
I finished my one shot and posted it. Fred reviewed it. He said it made sense to him without having seen the episode in question, which made me feel great. I also got a review from someone else who also liked it. :
I have also started one of the longer fics I said I had ideas for. We'll see how that goes. Again, it's Chris centirc so most people won't like it. I like it, though.
Most people want Lilly/Scotty shipping. I have nothing against the pairing, althogh it isn't mine. Maybe I should write a story where Christina and Scotty get back together and really piss people off lol
I also posted a one shot 'Charlie's Angels' fic. I have an idea for a longer fic but it's based on an episode and I'm not sure it could work. I recently saw that episode again and I'm just not sure. Of course my idea would be AU so....maybe.
I also cried over Beka fic again, for the first time in awhile. I'm trying not to do that so much anymore because it doesn't change things. For the most part, I'm doing well. I had missed crying over it but there's really nothing I can do. I can't make people write me fic or even finish what they started for me.
Isn't it better for me to try to be positive and focus on my other fandoms, where there is at least some activity? More than 'Andromeda' , at least.
So, that's what I'm doing.
8th November 2014
I'm working on my first fanfic for the show. What can I say? I'm doing more with my original stuff but I never will or want to give up fanfiction completely. Besides, maybe in this fandom I can get some more reviews than I've averaged with my Beka fic lately. Although, maybe not, since it's Christina centiric and the fandom in general loathes her. :
But it's something I've probably had on my mind since I saw the series finale. I just think that there's something to the sisterly dynamics between Lilly and Chris. I think there is love there, in spite of everything. Because you know, love, no matter what kind isn't all fluffy rainbows and unicorns.
Anyone who has been following this journal for any length of time, will recall my entry about the finale. Or maybe not. Whatever. While this is a one shot, I do have a couple of ideas for longer fics. Again, Chris centric, so not sure how popular they'd be. But they're there.
I normally write in a linear fashion, but for these, I might just do what Fred is doing with his B/D fic and write out scenes I have already pictured and insert them in later. Because I keep having visions of Chris in angst and Lil helping her out. Or trying to. So, we'll see where that goes.
27th June 2014
Birthday. Beka And Andromeda
It's my birthday. I don't know what I'm doing yet. I'll have to see when Fred comes home. I do have some thoughts about stuff if anybody cares to hear them. If not, tough. You will anyway. Unless you skip this.lol :
I got my birthday thread on Ex Isle. I always love those and look forward to it every year. It's a carry over from Slipstream which is another thing I love.
Speaking of Slipstream, let me go on to Andromeda and Beka. I know I'm beating a dead horse but it's my birthday and I'm entitled. Plus I've been good about not obsessing so much lately, so there is that.
The only thing I really want for my b-day is something I will not get Beka fic updates. I know everyone but Fred has abandoned all the birthday fics that were started especially for me. I know this and have to accept this since there is nothing I can do. But it bothers me still.
I don't think even Fred will have an update for me but that's kind of my fault since I didn't get my shit together and send him the fic parts already done in chronological order so he could work on it. So, I'm not savaging him.
I'm not even savaging any of the people who left me hanging with the abandoned stories. I'm just hurt over it. I'm not going to ever do a repeat of the whole torture fic debacle but I'm still hurt and angry. I mean, it wasn't any secret how important fic and finishing it was to me and still they quit.
Oh, well. It is what it is. I'm sure I'll have a nice birthday anyway because my husband is awesome. It just would have really been nice to have Beka be a part of it since I'm still the Bekaneer leader and that still means something to me, even if I'm the only Beka writer left.
I'm still writing Beka stories, although my last one was more of a general one since it was really about the whole crew. I actually got a review on it from someone besides Fred. That's a shock, these days. Still, at least some still care about the Andromeda fandom besides me. Because I tell you truly, I always will care.
4th June 2014
Put a support ticket in and got an answer on how to change my profile back to the way I like it. For now. I'm happy but I'm worried that they will eventually force the change. Why? I like it this way. It's pretty. The other way is butt ugly and hard on the eyes. Here's hoping this stays.
15th May 2014
FUCK YOU LJ!!!!!!!!!!
You changed the look and layout of my profile. I can't even search for communities I'm interested in anymore. So, you want to be Facebook. Because Facebook sucks and I expected better from you. You piss me the fuck off. Thanks a fucking lot.
12th April 2014
Happy Anniversary Vincent and Catherine
Hey, a fandom entry that's not about Andromeda. Am I sick or something? heehehehehehe :
No, it's just Vincent and Catherine's Anniversary They're from the original Beauty and the Beast T.V. series. Although the show premiered in September the first episode took place on this day in 1987. Hence the anniversary thing.
You might be surprised to find out this is my favorite show of all time, given how much I spend writing about 'Drom here. But 'Drom is the show I'm most active in fan wise, while this show is my favorite. I write fic for 'Drom, not B and B.. I did try but I couldn't. So, I just read.
I fell in love with and still carry a torch for Vincent. I truly love Fred dearly; he is my Vincent but the real Vincent will always have a piece of my heart. Hey, my love for Vincent predates Fred, since I didn't even know him in 1987. Besides, if he can have Sandra Bullock, I can have Vincent. hehehehehe And of course, we both can have the Andromeda crew. heheheehehehe
Anyway, almost three decades later B and B has lost none of its magic. Love and hope truly do rock.
20th February 2014
Shirley Temple Black
She died. My father grew up watching her movies and he passed his fanishness onto me. So, I'm sad about it. Still, she had a good life and unlike many child stars her life didn't fall apart as an adult. That's a great thing.
17th February 2014
Beka Day And The Andromeda Valentine's Day Exchange
It was great. Fred took me to Red Lobster to celebrate. :
On the Andromeda news front, I belong to a LJ community called Andromeda Fans. They had a gift exchange for the holiday. The other one because it was for all the characters, not just Beka.
I participated. Actually six of us did so there was a nice even number. Everyone got something. It made me happy.
It's nice that there are still people besides me and Fred that still care about this fandom. Now if only they would go to ExIsle.
I know I'm always bitching and lamenting those who left, especially if they left unfinished fic in their wake. I still think that's wrong. But whatever.
My giftee liked the ficlet I did. I, myself got icons, banners and ficlets It was great. They were all of my OTP of Beka and Dylan.
I will confess to still wanting a full length fic for those two. But as much as I want one that's not written by me, I sure don't want yet another fic started for me only to be dropped. I carry enough pain over that, thank you very much. So, I'm not asking.
In other news, LJ has now made using a cut as easy as pushing a button, so I was able to cut my fic as per community rules. Yay! I didn't have to ask Fred for help.
16th January 2014
The Professor Died
Russell Johnson, the Professor from Gilligan's Island died today. Only two castaways left now. :
My childhood idols keep dying. I know, I know, it's inevitable but damn!!!!! I feel so old.
I guess I keep thinking the castaways stayed the same ages they were on the island and would never die. I know. Stupid. I am so sad right now.
25th November 2013
That is what this entry will be. It will be an in depth analysis of the song 'Rhiannon' by Fleetwood Mac. :
First of all it is my very favorite song in the whole wide world. The song rocks.
The song itself is a fun tune to dance to because of the beat. It's not a slow song at all.
But from the moment the first bars of the haunting melody begin it has you in its grip and won't let go until the end. And depending on which version you are listening to at the moment that could be quite some time.
The lyrics are special. A special woman wrote them, singer songwriter Stevie Nicks. The woman grabs you with her voice and never lets go and what's more you don't want her too either. But enough about that. This is about the song.
It is about the Welsh witch Rhiannon. Except, according to Stevie, she didn't know that until later. She saw the name on some paperback book she wound up buying in an airport and liked it and so wrote the song.
Since she didn't know about the Welsh goddess until later it is my belief that Rhiannon herself chose the only singer songwriter capable of doing justice to her story.
Mick Fleetwood has said Stevie's early performances of the song were like an exorcism. Having seen clips on You Tube, I would have to agree.
Stevie sings like a woman possessed. Whether it is by the music, the stage or the goddess Rhiannon herself is up to an individual to decide for themselves.
But it is clearly an experience that is powerful. I only wish I could have seen it live myself back then. But sadly, I did not get into Fleetwood Mac or Stevie until much later.
I have heard Stevie can no longer sing it because it has done a number on her voice. How sad. I did catch her live singing it on the multiple occasions I saw either Fleetwood Mac or Stevie Nicks solo on tour live. So, there is that. I am grateful for having been able to catch it live before it was retired. If in fact it has been.
But anyway, the song is wonderful and having it in the world makes the world that much of a happier place.
20th November 2013
I GOT FIC!!!!!!!!!
He did it!!!!!! My hubby actually updated for me. I'm so happy. :
I told him he had earned a LJ entry and here it is.
It's so nice to have someone in my life who not only understands my cravings for fic but is willing to satisfy them. I mean, he's the only one who I ever have a hope of finishing what he started. Everyone else dropped the fics for me they started and didn't give two whoots about them.
I know people leave fandoms but was it too much to ask to finish what you started? I guess so.
Anyway, it is quite nice to have someone I can rely on. I can't nag him for awhile now since updates do hold me for awhile. Not long, tis true, but for now, yes. lol
I'm still working on my fics. I haven't given up fanfic and I won't ever.
I do miss the days of more readers. It's not that having Fred still reading doesn't make me happy; it does. I just got spoiled when I had more than one reader. It's nothing against Fred.
But no sense in bumming myself out. This is a happy entry. I'm happy and I'm going to stay that way for awhile.
2nd November 2013
Missing Beka Fic
I've gotten to the point of acceptance regarding unfinished fic. It still bugs me but I no longer froth at the mouth over it. hehehehehehe Although, at least when I was doing that I got replies. I guess me being accepting isn't quite as entertaining. hehehehehe :
So, I'll bitch for the entertainment of anyone still out there who still reads this. I periodically get times when my longing for Beka fic overwhelms me. So, I cry over it. I'm in one now. It will pass and I'll go back to just living my life as I do. It's just difficult while I'm in it.
I did talk to Fred about it and maybe he'll update something for me. It's just that he has other things to do and of course he's more important than fic.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT!!!!!! No, wait, I didn't really say that, did I? hehehehehehe
He did understand my pain, though and doesn't hold it against me. I know he wants me to be happy and he knows Beka fic makes me happy. So, maybe for Christmas, he'll update something for me. Fic is all I want. Hey, it doesn't cost any money to write me something.
So, what about my own fic writing? Well, I'm doing more original stuff these days but I haven't given up on fic. The Ex Isle fanfic forum is so dead. I'm almost the only one who still posts there. But one more post and HCH will be done. I hope Fred likes the ending since I'm writing for him, as my only reader left. Don't talk to me about lurkers. If they don't comment I don't know they're reading and so I can't count them. Besides, I doubt I have any left.
I did get an artwork request done for me. It wasn't exactly what I asked for but it was Dylan carrying Beka, which was something I wanted. I do want to write a fic to go with it.
I had to get a new computer, though and I'm still not up on how to use the new Word. I'll have to ask Fred to help me. I know he will. Then I'll do the fic. I am working on the plot in my mind. So, that's good.
13th July 2013
Yes, I DO Read Stuff Besides Andromeda!!!!!!!
Hard to believe but there are fandoms other than 'Drom where I read the fiction. I write in other fandoms but there are also ones I only read in but don't write. Shocking, ain't it? hehehehehehe :
So, while the lack of Beka fic other than my own makes me sad, I figured I could go see what's happening in my other fandoms. Because 'Drom isn't the only show I care about. And wow! While I was busy with 'Drom other shows exploded with fiction. I'm so behind. What's nice is that all of these other ones are shows long cancelled. Most have been off the air longer than 'Drom. So, if these shows can have activity, so can 'Drom. I may get new Beka fic yet.
But for now, I'm enjoying the new episodes of old shows.*grins* That's what fanfiction is to me, new episodes. So, in a very real sense, my favorite shows never got cancelled and never will. Yay!!!!!
Take for example, Gilligan's Island. I'm working my way through that section at ff.net from where I left off. And it's so fun. I'm enjoying the various shipper couples, even though, because I came to the fandom as a child, I don't have shipper couples. Romance was icky back then to me. lol If I do want to ship, I think I'll pair the Professor and Mary Ann and the Skipper and Ginger. That leaves poor Gilligan all alone, since of course, the Howells are already married. Oh, wait! I know. I'll take him. Love you Gilligan.lol
Off the top of my head, fandoms I need to get caught up on are Beauty and the Beast (original show) Gilligan's Island, Charlie's Angels(also original show Picket Fences and Cold Case. Well, it should be fun to do. Wish me happy reading.*grins*
27th June 2013
So far, so good. It's less sunny than i would like but what can you do? :
No fic so far but perhaps this weekend. I know Fred has finally built the framework for my B/D fic. In other words, he has a complete outline as well as notes and now knows where some scenes will fit. He was writing out of order and didn't know that.
Got a birthday thread at Ex Isle. This makes me happy.
I also posted an old ficlet. This weekend I will post another old long fic. These are birthday presents to myself. It's not the same as fic and fic updates from other people but it will do.